June 18

Ripken Stadium, 2009

This date has been on my radar for probably eight months.

Maybe longer.

June 18: Hudson Valley Renegades at Aberdeen Ironbirds

But the best laid plans often get laughed at.

Around this time (it's 2 p.m.) I should have been on the road to Maryland.

My focus should have been on my route. God, I hate paying the obscene New Jersey Turnpike tolls. So maybe I would have dealt with either the Garden State Parkway or the Turnpike until I could jump on 295 (it's free).

Same for the toll in Delaware near the Maryland border.

Maybe I would have just paid the tolls.

Baseball awaited.

I would have had a hotel -- motel? -- booked. I figured it was one night. I needed comfort and convenience. So, the Red Roof Inn seemed to have a reasonable price.

I also would have been thinking about the game. Was I comfortable with the players names? Have I learned enough about them? Would I do a pregame interview? I felt like I wanted the manager as an interview for at least the first game.

When would I write the blog post? Plus I'd have to write a game recap. Oh, I could do that back in the room. Then, tomorrow, I'd wake up and go to Waffle House before driving back to Connecticut to celebrate (what I hoped would be) a successful first night!

I would have had a trunk loaded with mixer(s), headsets, laptop(s), and more. Maybe some food and drinks in the vehicle.

I would have been ready. I know it. But, as I drove, I wouldn't have been confident that I was ready.

There's a point in Rudy where our hero is ready to run out onto the field at Notre Dame Stadium in uniform for the first time, and he utters a line that I've always remembered.

"I've been ready for this my whole life."

That was me. That is me.

It's not to be, of course.

The truth is I wasn't even supposed to call the game tonight. I wanted to do it. I felt it was important for the audience to hear the opening night game. I felt it was a chance for the audience and I to officially get acquainted before the home opener. Personally I wanted the road trip. It would be a treat for me. It would show the Gades how important it was.

It would also further prove that I'm nuts.

I was prepared to do the same at Staten Island this weekend, if only for Susan and her SI family and friends. I suppose it made me feel a little like a big shot (you had to prove it to the crowd).

I'm sad. Sure. I'm not mad. I mean, that serves no purpose.

But, I'm also grateful. I've been given a wonderful opportunity and I've already been told that I'll be their "voice" in 2021, regardless of what happens.

Oh, but I was excited. I was going to get to Aberdeen, MD as soon as possible. I would check into my room, review notes and make sure I was prepared. Maybe take one last look at what I wanted to take into the ballpark. Then, I'd drive back over I-95 on Maryland Route 22 to make the right on Long Drive to Leidos Field at Ripken Stadium.

Maybe I'd stroll the grounds of the Ripken facility before entering the ballpark.

Somewhere along the line, Jon would join me from R-Va. My goodness, we just have the worst luck when it comes to getting together. We've been trying for years and for the second time in 2020, our plans have been scuttled.

I would have set the equipment up. Had some dinner. I would have tested the equipment, talked with Jon, gotten comfortable, done anything to calm my nerves.

They're healthy nerves and anyone telling you otherwise is nuts. It keeps you humble.

There would be one last moment where I probably would have stepped away -- into a corridor or a restroom -- and had that conversation with myself.

"You've earned this. You're the right person for this. You're due. PAST due."

And...then?

"I've been ready for this my whole life."

Around 6:50 p.m. the music would swell. I'd take a deep breath. I'd glance at Jon and he would smile.

And I'd start talking.

Choked up, no doubt.

Finally -- FINALLY -- that first pitch would happen.

And the first pitch of the 2020 season is...

Not happening tonight.

But, it's OK. I'm still grateful.

We'll get there. We will.

All good things to those who wait.

The best is yet to come and, babe (Ruth), won't it be fine.