Sunday, July 19, 2009

Is This The Corner? (McCartney Part II)

A concert. A gathering of many people for the singular purpose of, generally, letting loose and rocking out.

Also a possible dividing line.

The last concert I went to was The Police at Madison Square Garden, back in August of 2007. At the time, I had hoped it was a turning point - where Sandi and I would get back on track. It seemed like it at that moment as we had a long hard talk about life and were on the same page.

I later found out it was an act. Two weeks later, the real madness began and I began to hear the nasty "D" word.

Divorce. I don't think I've ever been able to write that here in a personal sense.

Yet even before The Police concert, it had been a long and winding road. The road got dicier after.

I haven't come here to knock anyone, nor is this meant to be too deeply personal. I've left out so many details because it's not necessary or prudent. It was bad - really bad, but they're life lessons now.

And I'd like to believe yesterday, July 18, 2009 was an important day.

It began with reading the reviews of Paul McCartney's show at Citi Field and the idea that maybe I could score a ticket. Of course, that leads to the money question, but after talking with my sister, we both decided we not only should go, we needed to go.

With that resolved, I stopped by my old bowling co-captains (Mahopac, '87) house. Rob was having a BBQ and asked me to come over. I was glad to, and was so pleased to see Meredith, Rich, and other friends, old and new. It's not easy to stay in touch with the mates from school, but that's why Facebook is awesome.

While there, I took a phone call and had a long chat with a new friend. Names aren't important (protecting the innocent) but suffice to say I feel fine (yep, Beatles reference). There's promise in the air of new experiences.

From there, I hustled to Greenwich to meet my sister. Ten years my senior, she was always a companion and, along with my brother and parents, had an influence on my musical tastes. If only the middle Adams sibling could have come along - the three of us rocking out to The Beatles tunes that they raised me on.

I can still remember Laura playing their music in her room and getting me to sing those higher notes that we all love: "How could I dance with another...OOOOOOOO...when I saw her standing there." I couldn't have been much older than five.

Traffic stunk (damn you, non-EZ Pass users) but that gave us time to chat in the car. Parking also stunk (THIRTY BUCKS?) and the lot was brutal to get out of (glad I'm not a Mets fan). Oh we hit it on the way home too (concert's letting out - let's do construction!). We'll laugh about it, of course.

The show was emotional for me. Paul McCartney - I mean, a freaking BEATLE! - was playing live several hundred feet in front of me. He was doing some of my favorite songs ("Live and Let Die", "Helter Skelter") but really he could have played "Drive My Car" (the opening number) and said, "Rob Adams, in section 515, row 2, seat 1, carry on now. You have to leave." It would have been OK, because I would have seen a Beatle play a Bealtes tune.

He was paying tribute to his past - and our past.

I was drinking it all up. I felt free, and completely unburdened. Things that could have - would have - annoyed me simply didn't. We had a couple of girls a few rows up who screamed...all...night. Might have been acceptable in 1965, but it bugged some in 2009. I know that would have really bothered me at one time. Not tonight; not anymore. Let them scream.

Even when Citi Field posted the Mets score at the end of the show "Mets 5, Braves 1", I just rolled my eyes and laughed. It's their building. Whatever.

My mind wandered. "Why she had to go? I don't know. She wouldn't say." It hit me square in the chest, not because "I long for yesterday" but that simple question: "Why."

It's a chapter that is closed. Over, and moving on. There will be other "she's" in the future if I want. You've all told me that.

I wished for Sean to be there. As my siblings taught me, I have taught Sean the love of The Beatles also (and his mom gets credit also). There were rumors that Ringo might be there. He didn't but what if he did come out and Sean had been there? It would have been too much. I've called Sean "Ringo" for years and he has a stuffed polar bear of the same name. I've often used the song "Two of Us" from Let It Be as metaphor for Sean and I.

Sean's not quite ready for a concert but there were others in that age range there.

It took me until "Live and Let Die" to let loose and start rocking. Oh I had been toe-tapping all along, but now I was singing along, as I should have been. "Hey Jude" is emotional because of the line "The movement you need is on your shoulder." Paul wrote the song, but John wrote that line and Paul always said it moved him, and thus me. Plus that was the number one song in the world the day I was born.

By "Day Tripper" I was ready to stand - not dance - but rock a little. Our section just wasn't like that. That's OK.

I want to believe in the significance of 7/18/09. I want to believe that the beginning of the end of Rob version 1 was at that Police concert and that the beginning of Rob 2.0 was last night at Citi Field (of all places). Yeah I know, there's still much to do - job, finalize divorce, house, setbacks and pitfalls everywhere - but that maybe with all that happened yesterday, the long and winding road has finally led me to a door.

It's time to go through.


Jon said...

Wow, very deep and inspiring post!

Rob Adams said...

Thanks. Now we've just to got to keep it all together.

Um...more to say. A phone call may be in order, perhaps?