Pictures Say a Lot Sometimes

That picture is from 2008. Hold onto that thought for a moment.

But, I want to know something first. How do you all do it?

I read it everyday: "I've worn sweatpants for ten straight days."

"I haven't taken a shower."

"I wear the same clothes every day."

I read these comments constantly.

They are not me.

I shower everyday. I shave every couple of days. I'll do the occasional "Bachelor" style facial hair (yeah, I know that's the preferred look) until I see how gray I am, and then it's gone. Plus, it itches.

I get dressed -- jeans or whatever to drive mom to dialysis or go to the grocery store. I don't do a suit and I might be in a hoodie but I'm generally comfortable.

I wear sweats or track pants when I know I'm staying home.

And everything is clean.

I know. It's me. I'm fastidious in this way.

I guess I admire how you can do what you're doing but I also don't intend to change.

So there's that.

But, back to that picture. I remember that person. I remember that picture.

I remember that weekend.

It was Mar, 2008. It was Easter weekend and Sean and I went with my niece to another nieces house in Pennsylvania. It was the first time I had gone away with Sean. While there was family around, it was purely father taking care of son.

I was nervous and, to be honest, so was Sean. He didn't feel great as we grabbed breakfast at a Dunkin Donuts before we hit the road, but whatever he was feeling soon settled down and he seemed to have a lot of fun.

The picture -- a selfie before we called them that -- was taken with an old Panasonic digital camera. I just turned it around and took a shot while Sean and his cousins ran around on a playground.

It was a small sign that I was OK despite the tornado of life rolling around me. I could still smile and I had found a happy place with my nieces and the kids.

Sean and I began traveling a little more on our own. We joined family for camping trips, we drove to Richmond and Cooperstown and did some other drives including Vermont and several to North Carolina.

I knew what I was doing as a father. I knew I should trust my instincts and not worry about what a magazine said about raising kids.

The picture would be one of my first Facebook profile pics. It symbolized a small moment of empowerment.

I will survive. Hey hey.

I see the face that says we had a fun weekend and that there would be many more, despite whatever was to come.

And there was plenty to come.

It was really only just beginning.