A small part of every day is spent with an app called Timehop.
It pulls together memories from various parts of my social media footprint and presents them in a clean, concise order.
This morning, the collection included snaps from a getaway to Maine in 2004. Sean and I drove up along with his mother and my mother.
The thing about that is life forces you to process such memories. Yes, my ex-wife was in the passenger seat for that trip and you have to assess that. In this case, I don't have anything good or bad to say. She was there. That's it.
I don't recall anything particularly positive or negative pertaining to her.
I've learned to accept the reality that who I traveled with mattered for the purposes of chemistry and, to an extent, survival, but their presence can indeed be swept aside.
It's not preferable but it's better than wishing none of it had ever happened.
Instead, it's a reminder of Sean and I hanging out.
It's also a reminder of the bond between Sean and my mother.
I always liked Maine from the very first time I visited it in 1994. It just felt comfortable. I liked driving there. I liked the shopping, especially walking around Freeport. I liked the New England charm.
I think it should say "Home of John Nash" at the state line but I digress.
I haven't been in nearly two decades and I think about driving back up there often, especially to complete that portion of Interstate 95 to the Canadian border. Our trips there didn't have much time to drive over three hours to the border, just to turn around and come back.
Now, on my own, I could do such a thing but I need the wheels and the money to allow that kind of trip.
I also need good weather as I don't recommend doing such a thing in winter. I've been trapped in Freeport a few times due to snow and it's a lovely town. I'd rather not be trapped on 95 out past, say, Bangor.
In fact, there were times when we -- yes, this is crazy -- day-tripped from Mahopac to Freeport. Admittedly, I'd be begging my ex for a hotel on the way back because I was exhausted and always got shot down.
If you've ever driven I-495 in Massachusetts, it gets a little boring after a while.
But as I looked through these pictures this morning, I was immediately grabbed by the one at the top of the post.
That's always been a favorite of mine. Sean was always a trooper when doing stuff but, let's be honest, he was two in this picture and he needed a break. He and I stepped away from the occasional monotony of shopping* and he sat on the rocks to watch the fish in the in-store pond.
*Seriously, there were stores he would complain about going to, especially with his mother. The Gap was one of them. Daddy, he learned, walked in, looked around, and walked out. I'm a quick browser.
Anyway, I took his picture next to the pond and although I don't think he was actually feeling well, he was his usual smiley boy for me. His hand curled around his sippy cup in his look of a polo shirt and khaki cargo shorts. He was almost a stereotype at that moment.
But he was happy and I was relaxed. It can only be described as a nice moment as we no doubt talked about the fish, with me likely making up some story about the fish and how they were behaving.
I know I've told you the story of walking to LL Bean from a nearby inn where I was staying just a few years after this picture was taken. Oh, yeah, it was in a driving snowstorm at four in the morning and it's a favorite memory of mine. Seeing this picture of Sean reminded me of that.
In this case, it was a very warm day in August.
The other picture that stuck out to me was one of two numbered road signs.
I was most definitely taking a picture of the I-295 and US 1 signs but I liked that Mom was walking Sean in his stroller at the same time. I saw it as a slice-of-life shot.
My mother often used strollers and grocery carts to lean on as she aged, feeling that it was comfortable for her, especially in her latter years when she didn't want to use a cane. Plus this gave her a way to spend time with her grandchildren.
In this case, she's still getting around pretty well and looks good as she makes her way down the incline on Bow St.
Sean, of course, is nonplussed, sipping away on whatever beverage has been prepared for him. He wasn't always just an orange juice man, preferring a nice 2004 milk or water or perhaps some other time of juice.
I'm sure I came away from this quest with some wares though I don't remember what. I recall I used to find some good bargains at various stores in both Freeport and Kittery but LL Bean was always the star for me.
If we stayed anywhere on this trip, and we did, it was down near Portland as hotels and inns in Freeport were too pricey for us. I think, as I said, Sean wasn't feeling well, and, believe it or not, I was having a hard time finding the hotel I had booked in Portland.
Sean, by that point, melted down, repeatedly saying he wanted to go to the hotel. Repeatedly. That lasted for some time as I tried to figure out my mistake.
Yes, I couldn't find the blasted place. Keep in mind that our other hotel of that era was in South Portland, a few miles away and in a totally different area. I think it was sold out.
The takeaways from this post are missing the sweet memories of my son, missing the presence of my mom, and how much I love to travel. The pictures, of course, are keepsakes of the time.
And that's how you parse those memories.
And maybe it's time to get back to Maine.
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