The Right Companion

 

I saw this question on Instagram before and I felt the question needed better options.

The answer to the question, "Do you prefer to travel...," isn't really "with family/friends," or, "by yourself."

It's, "With the right person/people."

It can be like a broadcast booth. Chemistry is everything.

I didn't realize that for many years. My early travel partners were my parents and my siblings. We had the routine down for the most part. I knew where to look for us to stop for meals (that was one of my jobs) and where to stay.

I had different travel companions as I got older. Some got my style; others didn't.

I adapted where needed.

I worried when Mom, Sean and I decided to go to North Carolina in 2014. Sure, we'd done little trips here and there and, normally, I'd be worn out by the end of the day or even couple of days. Now here we were -- father, (then) 12-year-old son and mother/grandmother -- embarking on the journey.

It was almost over 10 minutes in.

We had just gotten on the Taconic Parkway when we realized that Sean didn't have his DVD player. I asked him if he could wait and I would actually buy him another one down the road at a Wal Mart. He, obviously, wasn't interested in that, so now I was stuck with 1) feeling like the pre-teen was dictating and 2) dealing with a bored pre-teen.

I decided to stop at the very next exit for breakfast at a bagel shop. Tensions were high. I checked the back of my mom's Toyota. Nope. Not there. It was clearly back at the house and, with one snarky comment (I don't even remember what it was), I groused back to the parking lot from the bagel place.

We drove back home -- in reality, a mere 10 minutes -- and I found the DVD player sitting in my room. We'd now lost roughly 30 minutes total and, overall, I could really only blame myself.

It was also the only problem between us from that point on. The rest of our travels went smoothly.

Mom and Sean, 2014

So that chemistry matters. You need someone who embraces your sense of whimsy/weirdness/whatever.

"I don't care," my mother would say about almost everything. (Truth: she cared about more than she let on)

No fighting over what plays on the radio.

Agreeing over where to eat.

No back seat/front seat driving.

And giving you some conversation, especially when exhaustion begins to take over.

There were very few questions among us about whatever hair-brained route I chose. Maybe questions about how much longer or what time we would stop but even those were few.

So the right traveler -- for me -- is one who doesn't mind Waffle House or Wawa or Sheetz and is OK with things like driving to a state/country line just because or some roadside wonder. Then again, they're someone who wants to get to the destination while still having fun.

It seems more complicated than it is but it's really not. I was talking with someone about road trips just before the pandemic began. She told me it wasn't her thing.

"You'd like my road trips," I countered. "We have fun!"

Short of that, I'm content to go it alone but I really don't prefer it. Sure, I enjoyed my drive from New York to Charleston, South Carolina back in 2012 and I loved the time I had in San Francisco in Sep, 2019 but it still feels like something (or someone) is missing when I'm flying solo.

Sure, there's nobody to tell you ... anything ... but there's also no one to tell you anything!

I still want to share it (beyond social media).

There are pluses and minuses.

That's why -- in my opinion -- the correct answer to my favorite traveling companion is the person with the best chemistry.

Speaking of which, Sean and I are planning to make good on a trip for a day (at the least).

We owe Mom that to honor her.