Bell-Bottom Blues

I saw the above picture in my memories today and immediately cringed.

Among the myriad things during my time at HAN, this was a standout.

It seemed at times like I could do nothing right, and then came the day of Sep 18, 2014.

As we figured out exactly what we were, the Hersam Acorn Radio/HAN Network team would go to different things.

We'd do street fairs and sidewalk sales and news and sports and lots of things.

Really, our potential was endless.

I digress.

On this morning, we were to go to a country club for interviews, chat, and so on.

It was one of those late summer/fall days. Pretty, and even just right for shorts.

But I worried shorts wouldn't be the right look to be on the air.

So I opted for a nice crisp pair of jeans.

The thing to know about me is that I care about how I look.

No, I don't spend time in front of a mirror anymore, but comfort, function, and appearance sort of matters.

So when money was less of an option, I'd shoot for classic, and so on.

Trendy? Not really. Occasionally, I suppose.

Anyway, for me to wear jeans, they had to be neat and nice-looking.

I drove to the broadcast feeling OK.

I turned into the parking lot, ahead of literally everyone else in our crew.

There was to be a golf tournament there and we'd be conducting interviews.

I got closer to where the golfers were to check in when it suddenly hit me.

"Uh oh," I mused. "I wonder if they have a no denim policy."

Yup. They did.

I got us all set at our broadcast site, and eventually, I was told the bad news.

"So, you have to stay seated, behind the table the whole time," I was told. "You can stay, but you can't wear jeans here. Had you worn shorts, you'd be fine."

I just figured I'd be fired then and there. Or mocked forever.

I'm sure the talking behind my back was off the charts. Thus my ears rang for hours.

Honestly, I couldn't win. I thought about running into town and buying shorts.

It was Caddyshack.

I wonder if you get a free bowl of soup with that hat.

I was waiting for Ted Knight to hunt me down, and for Rodney Dangerfield to tell everyone to calm down.

It was mortifying, given that I had actually put thought into it that morning. Just not enough thought.

My embarrassment was off the charts. My colleagues even had to bring me food. I couldn't wait to get out of there (lovely place, to be quite clear).

I always try to be invisible and, that day, I was part of the story.

The following year? Oh yeah, I wore shorts without a doubt.

Live and learn, I guess.