Saturday, November 27, 2010

Single Dads

I saw Kenn Tomasch (with two "N's"...can't believe I screwed that up) post this on Facebook.  Written by Chris Jones in Esquire, he talks about Dads.  I can completely understand.

Being a parent is hard work.  Being a single dad is a different kind of hard work.  The balance, the need to make every moment count, handling those around you, and so on.  I can't quite explain it.  It's also difficult to make sure that the dad (that's me) continues to have a life.  So there's that tightrope to walk because if I'm not doing right (mentally, physically, etc) then what good am I to Sean?

I had a stranger - some lawyer - tell me that my son, his CLIENT, wants to spend more time with me.  Well that's just lah-di-da great.  Of course I want more time with him, but I'd like it to be more than the hour of looking at toys at Wal-Mart or Target, because it really doesn't make sense to take him back to my house, since there's not enough time.  I'd like more than a few days a month.  I'd like him in MY school district.

I'm not complaining.  I'm happy Sean wants to be with me, and I want to be with him - hell, I offered to have him live with me in return for NO CHILD SUPPORT.  Yes.  That is correct.  THAT, friends, is how much I love my son.  That is how much I miss him.  He's not a dollar sign to me.

So it has been an adjustment.  An adjustment to understanding that Sean likes that time at Wal-Mart.  Or Target.  Or Sonic.  An adjustment to seeing how he now plays me because, hey, he doesn't see me all the time, so is respecting me important?

Hmm.  Respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  Aretha sang it so well.  Number one on my hit parade is respect - from everyone.  I don't sense I get a lot of it.  Different rant.  Different time.

We're getting used to the single dad routine.  You'd think it wouldn't be that big of an adjustment, given how long it has been.  But with the changes that took place in September, when I went from being a 50% dad, to a 20% dad, well, it's been different.  Tough to go from seeing Sean, say, 20-25 days every month (during school months) six.

And life goes on, but the article Kenn posted hit home.

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