I Guess Honesty Is Really Such a Lonely Word

 

Among my many traits is honesty.

Generally, I think it's a good thing, but if we're being...er...honest...let's just quote ol' Jack Nicholson.

"You can't handle the truth."

And so, friends, I sometimes have to say nothing. Now, staying quiet is something I can do but I also have to either say what I want to say privately to someone else or write multiple versions of a tweet/post and delete all of it.

I see things or, should I say I get sent things. 

For their own sake and the sake of their loved ones, I want to be able to tell them that they're overdoing it in one way or another.

There are online meltdowns and pity parties and other really concerning stuff that I simply can't discuss with them. 

And I want to help but, more often than not, they don't want that help.

Or they'll argue that they're right.

Like it or not, I have a pretty honest core surrounding me. I hear things I don't want to hear but, in the long run, it makes me better.

Or I say things that I simply need to say (even though it's wrong) just so I can hear myself say it and then realize what a dope I am.

It's therapeutic.

I'm not good at simply staying quiet. At least not in person.

It's why I detest phonies.

It's easier when there's a trainwreck online because I can react. My poker face can contort itself into a living question mark before I ... likely say nothing.

Which drives me crazy.

But. When they refuse or don't want the help, what can you do?

And -- worse -- they have a collection of pacifists who tell them what they want to hear.

At that point, there's simply no helping it.

The sad part is I really pride myself on being the voice of reason (Mike Richter once called me that). But, seriously, I always admired how my father was so diplomatic and I'd like to believe I have that in me. That's why I like being the big brother/uncle. 

Although I've got a new neighbor who keeps calling me "sir."

"Sir?"

Yet, I walked away from him limping with back pain after a long day of standing to teach at CSB and calling lacrosse at Brunswick.

So I guess I am "sir." 

Drat.

But, back to the point at hand. It's really hard to be an honest, open book and not be able to address things.

Sometimes you also know you can't say what you need to say no matter how much you want to say it because odds are, you'll simply look bad.

Or petty.

So, I guess what we're coming down to is that, occasionally, I can (and actually do) keep my mouth shut.

I actually do it much more than I let on.

But it's not easy.