Broadcast. Entertainer.

Would Krusty make a good play-by-play announcer (The Simpsons)

Oh, boy.

I was looking in the forums at staatalent.com tonight (a place for sports broadcasters to converse) when a job caught my eye.

The title? "Baseball Broadcast Entertainer."

The job description was, well, it was. That's all.

"In this role you will consider the normal guidelines for baseball play-by-play then do . . . the exact . . . opposite."

That was only the opening sentence. The bullet points?

* Instead of describing the game, you'll talk about the game as fans do. "Why in the heck is the number 9 hitter swinging on 3-and-oh with the bases loaded?!"
* Instead of cookie-cutter home run calls, they want CHEESE. The cheesier the better!
* Instead of pre and post-game interviews on the field or in the locker room, you might do them from the shower.
* Instead of interviewing only players and coaches, you might interview fans, kids, local business people and front office staff.
* Instead of working with an ex-player as your analyst, you might work with rotating fan analysts or even players from the active roster!
* Other ideas include doing an inning of imitations of some of the famous broadcast calls of all time including, “Do You believe in Miracles?” Or you could be doing an inning of all movie quotes and famous song lyrics. You could possibly get suggestions from fans for a word of the night that you need to mix into your broadcast. You could also showcase the players in unique environments.

Now, before you say they're reinventing the wheel (or microphone in this case), please take a breath. We've already established otherwise (Mike Lange, Dizzy Dean, etc).

But, yeah, this clearly isn't my kind of job. I'm sure you have someone else in mind. And, hey, why not? Let the flavor of the month head to this college baseball league. This trend will wear itself out.

I'm a firm believer that one can still be a reporter and remain a professional and still have fun. I mean, I do it all the time, and we've been through all of that, so there's no need to go through it again.

Report. Inform. Educate. Entertain. To put it in hashtag form: #RIEE

All of that can be done without interviewing a player in the shower.

There are so many of us having a blast doing what we do. Don't let the ones who are leaning on stats and telling us WHO they know or trying to impress us with cutesy prepared lines on the legal pad next to them fool you.

I'm the only one of me...baby, that's the fun of me! (Picture: Psychcentral.com)

And while I'm at it, let me tell you a story that I've wanted to tell for some time. I had a chance a few years ago to take on a gig that wouldn't pay but I thought it would be a good thing to do anyway. With that in mind, I set out to find people who would be right for the broadcast.

I grabbed a friend who embraced it immediately. Then I had an out of the box idea. I thought of someone who I don't really know, but we're connected on social media.

I was going to ask a fellow broadcaster for a reference, but before I ever got to that point, I looked closer at their social media accounts, especially Instagram.

Every. Thing. Was. About. Them. You know how you can have a grid of pictures -- roughly 15 or so? Their face was in every picture. Every instastory was more narcissistic that the one before it. It quickly occurred to me that this person was only interested in one thing: Them. It was all about having the right look, job, life, and focusing on this almost-unrealistic view of perfection.

Noble goals. Sure.

But, it said nothing for them being able to be part of a broadcast team and I quickly got turned off.

And I never pursued it. And I've never seen anything to change my mind.

I've made social media mistakes. Trust me on that one. We post things we regret. But, the lesson (good and/or bad)? You never know who is watching/reading (or listening).

We all have egos. Mine is, frankly, a mess (talk to those who really know me and you'll understand). We have to have some ego to work in this business. We have to all have a little narcissism.

But, there's a line.

Those who cross it are perfect to be a Broadcast Entertainer. Come up with cheesy home run calls, out-sized exaggerations of every game, and cutesy perfect outfits.

Have at it.

You know where I'll be.