At Seventeen

 

Sean and his dad, Aug 2006

Somehow, for reasons I don't understand, we're still here.

It was on this day in 2006, after prodding, encouragement, and inspiration from several friends, that I started this train wreck of a writing exercise.

My only rule was that if I started it I wanted it to last.

Well, 17 years later, here we are.

Of note on that date in 2006: 

- I owned a house.

- I was married.

- I had a pool in the backyard.

- Sean was four.

- I was sports director at WGCH, preparing for another football season.

- As I prepared to write the first post, ground was being broken on the new Yankee Stadium.

Us. July, 2006

Since then, obviously much of the above has changed and, frankly, for the better. We could do an analysis of then versus now but I'd absolutely say I'm happier and a better person now than I was then.

At that time, I had certain delusions. A certain naivete. Now, I'm more world-weary, less trusting, and dare I say even smarter. These things are frankly for the better.

Yet, overall, I'm still me.

Seventeen years and over 4,000 posts have washed by. There have been wonderful triumphs. There have also been horrible lows. I've never quite figured out the lowest point. Deep financial woes a few times, especially in late 2017/early 2018 come to mind.

The pandemic of 2020 to 2021 also impacted me much more than I've ever spoken about.

But the highs have been full of laughter and love and friendship and whittling down exactly who belongs in the circle that I want around me.

And just when I thought I was about to end this journey here, I elected to jump into writing a post per day. Save for very few exceptions where time zones have come into play (San Francisco, London) I've honorably done that very thing.

And I suppose that's an interesting thought: where I've written from. OK, maybe I haven't typed away from the Great Pyramid of Giza but I've brought you to places that were meaningful and interesting to me.

- North Carolina

- Florida (in fact, a few locations in the Sunshine State)

- Rhode Island

- San Francisco

- London

- Virginia

- Stuck in traffic in the middle of Interstate 95 in Bridgeport while I typed on my phone

- A parking lot in Norwalk, CT

and wherever else. I know there are others whose datelines I've forgotten.

I haven't loved every story I've written. Heck, I can give you examples from this week alone. But I've loved plenty of others.

Heck, I can give you examples from this week alone!

I actually really enjoyed researching and presenting Arctic Outpost Radio to you last night. Sometimes, the writing is a joy even if the reaction isn't.

But, mostly, I find it all to be cathartic. Discussing the divorce and the heartache and the battles and the insanity of life and my own bouts of being down and the fun with friends, family, and especially Sean.

Even introducing The Cat and telling stories about him. Almost three years into his living with us and I truly realize that we needed him mostly for the company but also for the diversion he provided after Mom died.

I've learned to not live in the past but certainly honor it, understanding everything that I've seen and heard. A lot of things have damaged me for sure but I like to think I'm a survivor.

I'm not where I thought I would be in a lot of ways. I just have to accept that and keep striving.

As a writer, I've continued to be a reporter, in that every detail of life doesn't need to be shared. I share enough. I can't explain my philosophy much better than that. I constantly worry about oversharing.

You didn't need a post about every baseball game or practice of Sean's. There's a line.

So you don't know a lot of stuff through these posts.

But, no matter what, it's always honest.

And to each person that has read, I say thanks. To Susan, Shawn, Harold, and Jon, who I know have read basically everything, profound thanks. To others I've missed, please note there's a reason I tend to not name names and I apologize if I missed you!

With that, we start the 18th year here. I'm not planning to shut down the blog anytime soon.

If anything, I ponder how to keep growing. I've often contemplated changing the website, which is why I share the posts on WordPress.

Of course, I'll keep grinding. No dream necessarily dies. It all just has healthy doses of reality.

Real. 

That's me.

We keep moving forward.

Aug 17, 2023