Traveling

 

Photo: Google Street View

After several false starts and two much smaller trips, I'm finally heading to North Carolina on Friday*.

*Conditions permitting of course.

Still, I don't such things flippantly. I think and (often) agonize over everything. The checklist either gets written or is in my brain.

- Laundry? Yes, I've done it already.
- Cat concerns? I got new wet food for him and changed his litter today.
- Packing? Shockingly, I'm sort of done but can adjust as needed.
- Last-minute concerns? I have to find a few items to take before I leave.
- Lawn mowed? Yes, I did most of it today. In the heat. Blech.

And so on. You get the idea.

As I'm, well, me, I'm also bummed if I don't start a road trip with a clean car. So, in the middle of everything today, I washed it, vacuumed it, Armour All'd it and did the windows. This feels like something I picked up from my parents, especially my father. However, I will say that my mom also made sure to take the car to get cleaned when we would travel in her later years.

Then there's that -- my mother's presence. Her ghost, if you will. This will be the first trip to see Kristy and Company (that will be the name of her sitcom) without Queen Nancy in the backseat (or the one time riding shotgun). Yes, Sean and I went to Pennsylvania without her in February but that was different.

The North Carolina trips began because Kristy and Hector moved there in 2012 from Alabama. I passed through the area before they moved but it occurred to me that maybe we could drive down. While 2012 and 2013 passed without a trip, I became convinced we could make it happen in 2014. We could use Mom's car and split the cost of gas and tolls and I would serve as her trusty chauffeur.

I admit I was nervous before the first trip. Would we all get along? Would my mother and I kill each other? What about Sean?

We went seven times from 2014-2019. We had one -- ONE -- moment that tested patience. It happened less than an hour into the first day of the first trip.

We started out and turned south onto the Taconic Parkway. Partway between our exit and the next one, Sean asked for his portable DVD player.

Me: You don't have it?
Him: No.
Me (now calculating the loss of time and what to do without panicking): Can you wait and we'll stop somewhere and buy you one? (Yes, I realize that sounded wasteful and stupid on my part.)
Him: No.
Me (in my brain): bleepingbleepedybleepblastingbleep.
Me: ok

I jumped off at the next exit and went to the nearby bagel place since we hadn't grabbed breakfast yet. Knowing it was a futile battle, I examined the bags in the rear of Mom's Toyota RAV 4. Nothing, at least at a quick glance.

We walked into the bagel shop and I was now steaming. Sean was, of course, being a 12-year-old. Mom -- bless her heart -- could never let things go and if any of my siblings, nieces or nephews are reading you know exactly what I'm talking about.

She made a snide comment. The exact words are lost to time but I can hear the bite and sarcasm regardless. It was something about being grumpy and "Is this how it's going to be?"

Wrong thing.

"Get me an egg and cheese on a plain bagel," I huffed and stormed out, leaving money behind.

I reexamined the car. Nothing.

It wasn't really Sean I was mad at, although I wanted him to be more responsible. I was now steamed at Mom, of course, for not letting things go. That was a Nancy trademark.

But, most of all, I was mad at me for not being on top of the bleeping DVD player, which had become a staple of traveling with Sean for a few years.

I said nothing and drove back to the house. Granted, it was only 10 minutes (20 roundtrip) but when I'm always checking our time, that was 20 minutes lost.

I walked in, grabbed it, went back to the car, handed it to him, and returned to the Taconic. Away we went.

After I've started driving, there are those points that I might realize something has been left behind. If it is something like shaving cream (for instance) well, they have Target and Wal-Mart and Food Lion and other such stores that have supplies. So it's that balance of what would make me turn around as opposed to just driving on. A DVD player, which could have upset the balance, was sufficient enough to lose 20 minutes over.

That's the closest we came in seven trips to North Carolina to a nuclear meltdown. We went other places as well and overall it always worked out just fine.

This will feel different of course.

Fingers crossed for everything going well this time without her. We know she'll be missed.