Friday, December 18, 2020

McCartney missteps

 


Ready for a shock?

I know this will surprise you.

I don't think I've ever told anyone. 

Here goes...

I revere Paul McCartney.

Shocked, right?

Like, I worship him. He and John (and George and Ringo, of course) are indeed the musical GOATs.

But, I sense I'm probably mostly a Paul guy. Oh sure, I love all four Fabs but Macca's more along the lines of my musical sensibilities. While John was trying to give peace a chance and George was off in India and Ringo was...Ringo, there was Sir JP McCartney, creating lots of brilliance and lots of hits.

Lots of earworms and underappreciated gems.

And...well, some utter and complete dreck.

There. I said it. Wow. That feels great to get off my chest. I realize he's 78 and he has McCartney III coming out, 50 years after McCartney and 40 years after McCartney II, and he's the best but even the best blows a tire here and there.

No, I'm not here to rain on the new music or the things that seemed offline like "Temporary Secretary" but I'm here to slam full bore into a couple of Macca Misfires.

For the love of Eleanor Rigby!

I think the winner of the absolute worst, to this day, is "Ebony and Ivory." I got a nifty CD player back in 90s. It was a great Sony that took five CDs at a time and would let you program songs that you did not want to hear.

The first -- in fact, the only -- song I ever did that with was "Ebony and Ivory." Look, I'm all for singing about racial equality! I love the notion of "people are the same wherever you go." But, jeez, Paul, why? He wrote this. I can't even blame Stevie Wonder, who would have his own flubs with "I Just Called to Say I Love You."

How did the great Sir George Martin not throw them both out of the studio, telling them it was absolute rubbish?

I'm not sure I've listened to "Ebony and Ivory" -- which was a major worldwide smash -- since it came out in 1982.

Hits don't always mean best songs, and here's some proof.

Literally, the only good thing that came out of this debacle was the Frank Sinatra/Stevie Wonder duet on Saturday Night Live.

Oh, but wait.

I mentioned this to someone else recently and they gave me one that is equally insidious. Sir Paul aligned himself with another global superstar in the 80s that produced a few hits. One was the slightly tolerable "Say Say Say."

The other, with Michael Jackson, was the utterly insipid "The Girl is Mine."

Paul McCartney. He of "Yesterday" and "Maybe I'm Amazed" and "Let It Be" and so...many...other...great...songs had produced a song with a talking breakdown that was basically rap for lame men.

Thankfully, this disaster is Jackson's fault for writing it and Quincy Jones suggested the rap idea.

I actually heard the damn thing the other day on my way to Lowe's and it's been stuck in my brain ever since.

What hurts me is that members of Toto -- who I love -- are also on this thing.

The rap breakdown is so bad that I remember friends of mine learning and reciting it -- mockingly -- in junior high school. This is douche chill-inducing:

Michael, we're not going to fight about this, okay
Paul, I think I told you, I'm a lover, not a fighter.
I've heard it all before, Michael, she told me that I'm her forever lover
You know, don't you remember?
Well, after loving me, she said she couldn't love another
Is that what she said?
Yes, she said it, you keep dreaming
I don't believe it

Blech. I can't believe I just put that in here. If I'm "the girl" I laugh and take a pass.

One can't help but wonder if John might have saved Paul from this if he was alive but of course we will never know. That being said, we also know John and Paul each did their own thing. 

After all, we don't have enough space for John's faux pas with Yoko.

I'm sure there's someone who will challenge these songs, most notably with "Silly Love Songs" and I will respond by saying that song resonates even more today than ever, plus it has one of Paul's best bass lines.

Have to be fair though. For all of Macca's greatness...there are a few "yikes" in there.

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