It's a good thing I don't work in radio

 

I'm completely baffled how this thing works (Ridgefield, 2018)

A short time back, someone referred to a broadcaster as a "puker" in the Facebook play-by-play group. Put a pin in that. We'll return to it.

I record lots of things for people.

Need a liner? "You're listening to School of Hard Knocks Ping Pong on K-Babble!"

A commercial or a promo or something else?

How about an anwering maching message?

I've done them all.

"Thank you for calling Vandelay Industries. To reach George Costanza, press one."

I did that for a real company years ago -- 1997 or 98, I think. Years later, it was still being used.

The point is, I'm often recognized for my voice. People have stopped me on the street when they hear me speak. I've walked into a place and don't even need to say my name, because the person knew my voice.

I've heard myriad compliments about my voice. Let's just leave it at that.

Since getting into the video depo world, I've been told that "if you don't work in broadcasting, you should" several times.

Well...maybe not...

I recorded some stuff for someone recently, only to hear they were rejected because "...he doesn't have a radio voice."

I'm sorry. What now?

I laughed. Hard.

Now, don't get me wrong. I actually don't think my voice is that special but I've been flattered to hear differently.

Never have I been told that I don't have a radio voice but there's a first for everything, I guess.

In fact, I've heard that "you have a face for radio" stuff more times than I can count.

I mean, I'll live. I've done commercials that have run, frankly, around the world (especially via the internet, of course). This certainly isn't going to define me.

Trust me, this is more of a reflection on the genius radio "exec" than it is on me. Broadcasting executives are a special lot.

Oh, the stories, friends. 

I'm still laughing about it. I've always been proud of having a voice that has a lot of, let's call it, elasticity to it.

Now, this is where we return to "the puker."  It's a voice that Urban Dictionary defines as an announcer "who attempts to add excitement to his delivery by talking from the back of the throat, a common affectation in the 1960s and later 'Top 40' formats."

I can do that voice. Easily. But, man, did one high and mighty type get their headset in a bundle over it being mentioned in the PBP group. His rage was not aimed at me, to be clear.

Anyway, I can do that voice. That's the point. A radio voice. But, there are others I can do.

I'm often mimicking Ving Rhames' "Arby's" voice. "ARBY'S...we have the meats."

Fast read? Slow read? Super deep voice? High voice? Yes...yes...yes...yes...

But, hey, I don't have a radio voice. That's cool.

I'm not writing this with any rancor. I can't make it clear enough that I'm still laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

Wait...Chris Russo is still in radio, right?

I guess I'll survive then.