See you in the Spring

 

Not a very exciting photo, but it satisfies me

Somewhere along the line, I began to obsess over my lawn.

There was a point in the summer where I was backing out of the driveway with Sean and I lamented the height of the grass.

"It's so high," I said. "I have to cut.."

"Oh would you STOP?" he said, cutting me off. "It's fiiine."

So I'd keep those words in mind but, of course, he didn't have to deal with it when it would get too high and clump in the push mower that I continue to use because the ride on tractor that I thought was gone for good still hasn't been returned.

That's a whole different story.

Oh, and before you say that he could cut the lawn, let me say a few things, most notably being that I like caring for the lawn. He also doesn't come here to work for me. He'll help me where asked. I also have an issue asking for help, which sounds deep, and is, and we're not going down that avenue.

I reach a point every November (ish) where I try to get out to the yard one more time to sort of close it out. I wasn't sure I'd get an opportunity but it's basically what I did this whole weekend.

I walked behind the mower on half of the yard on Friday. That's the side that grows the highest. It's also the side with the most leaves.

See, despite how much I like keeping a decent lawn, I'm not a great leaf cleaner. I don't rake much. I blow some leaves but I don't get insane about them. Not really. Normally, I have a tractor that I just let do the dirty work of mulching it all.

The tractor seemed to be dead. I had someone look at it. He essentially told me as much and, this was probably even a year ago. Then, magically, it was mentioned to me that it was fixed for a small amount if I was interested. All I had to do was say "yes" and I'd get it back -- just in time to mulch the yard!

A month later, it's still not back here. So, there's that.

I basically cut each row of the heavier side twice. It seemed to be the only way to truly clear the leaves. The crazy thing was, there weren't that many leaves, but the ground was damp. Thus, the leaves were wet.

I tried to convince myself I was done on Friday as my feet hurt and my muscles ached.

On Saturday, in an empty house, I went back outside. I decided to do the other half of the yard. 

This time, it was more of the same. Cut every row, essentially, twice. 

I even brought out a rake for some of the grass I cut Friday where I still felt I hadn't gotten enough of the leaves.

Again, I was sore when I finished. A hot shower felt fantastic.

I looked out the window.

It just wasn't good enough.

The thing is, I'll look out those windows all winter. I'll see it.

In other years, where I didn't get to the leaves before the snow hit, I spent the winter months shaking my head at what I saw.

I looked out the window behind where I eat meals. It's the one spot on the dining room table -- always my father's spot -- that is actually clean. The rest of the table has had stuff on it since Mom died.

I could still see leaves out that window.

I went back out today. The mower stayed in the garage. I returned with a rake.

I went back to the heavier stuff and cleaned more up.

I went to the view outside the dining room window and cleaned that up also.

Finally, I decided I had to let it go.

I had to declare the season over, barring some warm weather.

I went back to the window.

"It's sufficient," I said.

In other words, I have a hint of OCD and nothing would be perfect.

I don't have a green thumb. Never have. Some (of this, I have no doubt) are critical of my caretaking of the flower beds (read: weeds) and no, I'm never going to be a handyman.

MacGyver? To an extent, yes. But Tim "The Toolman" Taylor? Nope. Not really.

So give me my lawn.

When I mentioned it to Sean on Friday before he left to DRIVE home, he took note.

"It's your baby," he said. "You're proud of it."

I suspect this is the final time I'll be worrying about the leaves here. I think they'll be someone else's thing by Nov. 29, 2021.

So, I figured, I might as well go out on a high note.