The Return of Off The Bench

...from Nooooo York...at guard...six-six...OFF THE BENCH!!

A little nod to Sean Kilkelly's Odds and Sods, via Ray Clay and the once-awesome Chicago Bulls player introductions that now everybody does, and they're lame now. Back then it was original.

For a little reminder of the insanity that reigned over the United Center during the Bulls' run, have a look at this You Tube video (I especially enjoyed the SAP scroll) :



Oh don't get me wrong, there's nothing like stoic professional Bob Sheppard at Yankee Stadium, but if you want to add a little funk (with an "n") then this was the way to go.

Speaking of basketball, will somebody let me know when the Finals start? I'd like to watch, especially since Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, and Jeff Van Gundy might be the best broadcast team working right now in hoops.

Baseball, you say? The Yankees? Yeah, I'm aware that they've kind of heated up but let's all calm down. They didn't exactly knock off world beaters during this nine-game winning streak. You see, they must now play the immortals...the owners of the big town...the Sports Illustrated cover boys (journalistic fellatio all over Omar Minaya at its finest)...the Amazins...the Mets.

I know - the Mets are struggling, but the Yankees come in with little ol' Roger Clemens. I don't like their chances this weekend.

Seriously I refuse to go back and tell you that the Yankees aren't done. Granted things look much better (are you sweating yet in Boston?) but I'm a Missouri kind of guy.

Show me!

Oh and spare me the "we own the town" crap. I don't care what anyone says - this has been the Yankees' town since The Babe arrived in 1920. Or those 26 rings mean nothing? The pendulum swings once in a while (mid to late 80's during the Mets dynasty...I kid).

Somebody actually wrote that the Spurs are better than Bird's Celtics or Kobe's Lakers. I laughed.

So it's senior prank time around the local high schools. At Hendrick Hudson in Buchanan, the students placed little alarm clocks and had them duck taped. Then they programmed them to go off at the same time. To me, that's funny right there. To the police and the administration, they don't see the humor. The students in question got in a lot of trouble, and will not be allowed to graduate with their fellow classmates.

Lighten up, Francis!

Oh and we haven't thanked Mr. Bin Laden recently for causing all of this shite. That's why I don't go to the Stadium with a backpack anymore. That's why roughly 19 students are in deep doo doo for putting cheap alarm clocks around Hendrick Hudson High School on the off chance that they look like alarm clocks.

Don't tell me that this has to do with Columbine or Virginia Tech or any other school violence. This has to do with the grownups being panic-stricken in our terrorist -threatened world. And THAT friends, is reason enough to stop worrying about oil in Iraq and go find Arse-face in the cave along the Pakistani-Afghan border.

Here ends the politics for the day.

Mike Keenan is back in coaching but as with the rest of hockey, the public is yawning. I'm interested to see Coach Keenan back - this time in Calgary. I fully recognize that there was a near-mutiny in 1994 as the Rangers collectively shut down on Coach Keenan and that the leadership of the Blueshirts captains (led by The Messiah, natch) rescued them, but Keenan was still the man who was at the helm when hockey was just about king of New York.

In New York at that time, coaches and managers included Keenan, Pat Riley, and Buck Showalter. One won a title and two came damn close. How different things might have been around here.

By the way, our friends at WFAN are running a poll about what sports moment was the best of the past 20 years. The FAN is about to turn 20 (on July 1st) so head over to WFAN and let your mouse be heard!

No surprise - the Yankees in '96 was my top pick. I'd put the Spring of '94 second (with the Rangers and Knicks, when every night was heart-stopping). I can see '94 winning but my bias is clear here.

I still can't believe it's actually going to happen, but allow me to tell you that WGCH will be going to Naples, Florida for the big Greenwich-Naples football game on November 9th. Now I'll actually believe it when I'm on the plane (or in the van - which wouldn't surprise me) but it's exciting to know that the station is planning on sending me. That's all I know for now.

Many thanks to the Greenwich Quarterback Club for their usually fantastic golf tournament this past Monday. The WGCH team was chaotic as usual, as I was told at the last minute that one of our players would be late, and that we didn't have a fourth player. A quick phone call got Zach Fisher to join us. We had to stop after 14 holes due to thunder and lightning, but I think a grand time was had. I still think there are few nicer municipal courses than "The Griff." The food was outstanding as well and everyone knows how to run a great tournament.

We didn't play that badly either - I think we were four or five over par when I turned in our card. For us, that's not terrible. Believe me.