Sunday, July 22, 2012

Maybe I Should Explain

There's no law.  Nope - I checked the books.  Social media?  Not that I can tell.  Justice system?  Negative.  So I feel like it's time to open up.

I've been called "secretive", which is a mean way of saying "occasionally private."  Yes, I don't reveal everything to everyone.  Sometimes, I just plain forget.  Don't be fooled by my memory.  It forgets things - a lot.  But that's a different rant for a different time.

My writing has been stagnant lately.  Certainly I've been off my game.  I could have written some from Cape Cod, but didn't.  Even since I've been back, I haven't done much.  I thought about why, and concluded that I had personal stuff on my mind, and wasn't quite sure how to address it - and so, I didn't write much.

Maybe I should.

Last Wednesday night, after talking about it earlier in the week, Lisa (I've mentioned her, no?) put our relationship online via Facebook.  I know that is a huge step for her, having dealt with stuff in her past (that is for her to discuss, or to give me the OK to discuss, so let's leave that here).  I, of course, bring my own baggage.

But after not making it "official", we did.  We both said it didn't matter much to put it online.  Sometimes, if not handled correctly, it looks so childish; so high school.  But as Lisa said, "we're in a relationship.  That's the fact."  So it's online, and I'm pleased.

I had been more public in my "previous life", and had wondered if I might be more low-key about this one.  Reasons for that were various, but in the end, I decided that I shouldn't change.  It's OK.

So who is Lisa, and how oh how did this happen?

Lisa is a friend of my cousin (Kris) and his wife (Lori).  I was introduced to her back in my single days (October, 2009, to be exact) - after I finished broadcasting a football game at Harrison.  We met at her job, spoke for a moment, and I was told to give her a call.  We went out - exactly three times - to Starbucks, over a span of about five months or so.  We seemed to like talking to each other, and could spend hours on the phone just jabbering away (I don't do that with too many people).  But each meeting (I really don't think of them as dates) got colder.  Something was amiss.  We would say hello to each other via messages a few times, and see each other at Kris's birthday party in June of 2011.  As I recall, it was a fairly awkward thing.

Of course, Lisa and I were off living our separate lives by then anyway.

By early 2012, things had changed.  I was at Kris and Lori's in April when I jokingly suggested that Lisa should join us at the Easter dinner that I had been invited to (little did I know that she was already invited).  Lisa didn't make it (and didn't know I was going to be there), so I figured nothing had changed.  Then I sent her a text as I drove out of her old hometown of Amenia, NY a few days later - and received no response.  I figured for sure that Lisa wanted no part of dealing with the mess that is me.

At least that's what I thought.  The truth, of course, is always different.

I met Lori for dinner not long after so that she could bring Sean's bicycle to me and as Lori went to take a sip of coffee, I asked how Lisa was.  It was then that I thought Lori was going to choke on her favorite beverage.  She told me that, although she wasn't playing "matchmaker", she had spoken to Lisa, and that Lisa didn't get my text (her phone was busted, it turned out).  They spoke about me, and other stuff.  Turns out, she would always read my Facebook page.  She liked me!  And so...

I said to Lori: "You're telling me that I should give Lisa a call."  Without saying a word, Lori put her head down to sip her coffee, and nodded.  Yes indeed.

I should tell you that I wasn't thinking of getting back into a relationship.  I felt that I was in a time in which I was going to enjoy friendships and figure some stuff out.  But fate - oh the wicked, fickle finger of fate - has a way of playing the cards differently.  Lisa could tempt me to jump back in.

So Lisa and I did talk on the phone...and didn't stop...for four hours.  It was like we had picked up where we had left off, and yet, it was different.  She was different.  Nothing cold.  Completely interested.  We decided that we should get together, and go to a drive-in movie (my first - YES - first).  We met at her job (seemed safe) and headed to a park to take a walk where we passed a nice waterfall.  We stopped and talked, and made our way to a diner (nothing fancy) for a bite to eat.  She made it quite clear that I had to pay on the first date (I laughed at that).

I'm sure you have questions about other things (don't worry - Lisa did also), but I simply think I can't reveal all (yes, I did reveal to Lisa).  Stuff happened and it was time for me to move along.  Time to see where things go.  I don't think those stories are pertinent here.

Have I mentioned that I hate questions?

Anyway, we went to the drive-in (Overlook in Poughkeepsie) and saw the Zac Effron dud The Lucky One, and made fun of it as we sat in my car.  We started watching the second movie (The Cabin in the Woods) and soon bailed.  Date over.

Lisa went to her first Yankees game (!) a few nights later and, without expecting it, that turned out to be date number two, as one of her friends bowed out - leaving the ticket open to me.  And that, friends, is kind of that.

We've worked through the details over these past few months, and you've seen and read about some of our early adventures.  Lisa is a nurse.  She's blunt, sensitive, can be shy, likes to laugh, loves to travel, is smart, always late, and though she has no interest in sports, she never misses a "Press Box" show.  She loves cats.  She loves music (we differ on some musical choices though - John Effing Overrated Mellancamp?), movies, and so on.  She likes to be active, and when she's on can ride her bicycle for miles (and hours).  She's good for me in that way, and others.

She loves the movie Avatar and wants me to see it.  I never had any interest.  She also likes "The King of Queens" on TV, while I...well...don't.  At all.  Yet we sit and watch "The Big Bang Theory" together.

We have things in common, and we have differences.  All good.

She's never had children, but likes Sean a lot, and is good to him.  That, of course, is huge.  It's no secret that Sean and I are kind of a package.  Her kindness and patience with Sean is incredible.

She also likes my writing, and encourages me to write about anything (including her).  She trusts me, and that's huge.

We're still learning.  Trust me on that.  There's no jumping the gun, but there's also no denying things.  So far, we are simply having fun and trying - hard - to not over analyze and over think things.

And so it is that, if you haven't figured it out, all of this is what this post was about.

We haven't been back to Starbucks...yet.

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