Christmas Eve

 

DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.

Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET. (letter to the New York Sun, printed Sept 21, 1897)

*****

Christmas Eve has evolved over the years for me.

I suppose the holidays have also.

As I wrote recently, a favorite Christmas Eve is one my mother would have preferred to have forgotten. She was in rehab, recovering from open-heart surgery. Yet those of us who gathered around her felt a certain relaxation and, dare I say, joy.

I'm not sure I've felt that in the years since.

Still, life is what you make of it.

With nowhere to go, Sean and I continued our recent tradition of watching movies and eating dinner. Our prior movie selections have been "Avengers: Infinity War," "Caddyshack," "Psycho," and "Fargo."

This year we opted for a double feature of music biopics: "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Rocketman." Though I've seen both of them, Sean had expressed an interest in seeing them. I made sure I wasn't "that person" and kept most of my knowledge to myself, both historically and in terms of the movies.

As for the food, we had an elf that likes to feed us hand me a bag of steaks, shrimp, garlic bread with cheese, and other delights. There also might have been a few rice balls that this elf is known for.

Oh, and I added a cheesecake from Junior's in Brooklyn. So, yeah, we were sufficiently fed.

The movies were great, each in its own way. I'd probably lean more towards "Bohemian Rhapsody" but that's only if I have to give you an answer. Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury is just one of a collection of remarkable performances in that film. The Live Aid segment to close the movie is off the charts and is a time capsule for me, even if I didn't see it live.

While it isn't ideal for either of us, we both seemed fairly content with the evening. It's still not the same, sitting just a few feet from Mom's chair. My parents literally lived and died in this room. That's not an attempt to be maudlin. It's simply a fact.

I think we'd both like to be a little more settled in 2022. It's been a long path to what's next and we're both anxious to get there.

To be blunt, I want to be in a different place physically, emotionally, and spiritually in 2022. It's time. 

I'd like to believe I'll recapture a little bit of holiday magic though I haven't seen it in several years and I don't know if I ever will.

But, let's not be a downer. We made the best of the night and my heart is full.

Sean heads back to his mother tomorrow and my Christmas plans are, well, up in the air based on COVID. My family keeps getting hit and I'll figure it out in the morning. Still, it's OK. There will be football to watch and I've been staying busy around the house.

*****

While we live in a dour world of people who want to break down "It's a Wonderful Life" into being sexist and whatever other nonsense they sling at it, I believe in thinking that it's a movie from 1946. To further analyze it is to say that George Bailey was a good and decent man who was also flawed. His beloved wife Mary adored him and was the rock of everything, saving everything.

Why not just enjoy the movie?

Just as we did tonight, watching the stories of two flawed legends. No further analysis was needed.

*****

So, yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, just as the New York Sun editorial (written by Francis Pharcellus Church) said in 1897. He or she is what you make of it.

Just like life.

And Christmas Eve.

And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight, "You can tell everybody this is your song!"

And to all, a good night.