Trying To Say The Right Thing

It's National Cat Day so he gets the honor of this picture.
Otherwise, he has nothing to do with this post

 

Life, as we know, can be cruel.

A family friend's husband passed away this week as cancer reared its ugly head again. I feel for Debbie, whom I've known since birth. I didn't know her husband Carmine well but he seemed like a good man and was lost far too soon.

Thanks to Debbie's sister, Renee, for keeping us in the loop on this sad news. Unfortunately, we weren't able to get to Mahopac for the services.

Funny thing about that, and I'll always believe it. I'll always feel -- strongly -- that having loved ones before and/or after someone passes is more important than being around for the ceremony of the wake and funeral.

In a perfect world, we get to everything but, sometimes, life just doesn't allow us to be in that place. So I'd rather be a phone call or message away.

There were those who didn't show when Mom died in 2020 and, while it would have been a lovely gesture, their support after everything was over spoke more. It always will.

But that's a personal thing and a matter of opinion.

The circle of life reared its twisted mind with the announcement on social media of a new baby on the way to the brood as my niece is pregnant. We look forward to the addition to the family next year and only hope that the child doesn't follow her father's choice of sports teams.

I kid.

Sort of.

I've done well with Sean so I'll take my victory there. He and I are preparing for Pittsburgh on Thursday, despite the Steelers' putrid performance today against Jacksonville. Two key Steelers -- quarterback Kenny Pickett and free safety Minkah Fitzpatrick -- left today's home game with injuries. 

Obviously, when one is going to travel close to seven hours to see a football game, one hopes for certain players to be active. Yet one has no say in that matter so, while I was excited to see Pickett play in person, we'll see what impact his rib injury has.

These factors can't ruin the trip. The journey and the experience will have to rule.

Oh, and I haven't packed yet, though I have a fair idea of what I'm going to wear Thursday night, with temperatures dipping towards the 30s at the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers that form the Ohio River.

You know. Three Rivers.

Layers will be needed. Lots.

But enough about that. My mind just keeps going back to the complexities of the circle of life and family. 

I hurt for my friends -- the ones I've told you about in the post but there are others who are dealing with the test of a life and such pain that they are almost numb at this point. It's their story to tell and I'm here for their support.

It's just horrible and will always test faith. I can't fathom some higher power allowing that kind of pain.

But from our perspective -- that of a supporter -- being there is really all we can do. We can't change things. We can't make anything go away. We're the shoulder to lean on and it can be such a helpless feeling.

Especially from a distance yet all we can do is our best.

Selfishly, I'll offer that it's frustrating and disheartening at times because you want to make the pain go away. But, on the other hand, see it as the honor of being their rock, if that's how they see you.

They've put their faith in you.

That matters.

You don't need to fix anything. You don't need to have all of the answers or any answers at all. You just need to listen.

Be patient.

Hug, if needed.

And once in a while, nudge them. Of course, do that gently because, even then, it might fail.

So here's the takeaway. Good or bad, I'm here. 

Always here.

A text away.

A call away.

With the very sad passing of Matthew Perry this weekend, I can only think of the line from the "Friends" theme song.

"I'll be there for you."