The Devil Wore Blue Jeans

 

(Photo: Outdoor Gear Lab)

I promised you a story the other night.

I pride myself on always being put together. As I felt my father was a man of style, I also tried to be that way.

Yes, my style has always leaned towards classic and rarely daring. There are moments that will lean toward a trend but, overall, I try to have things in my closet that I can wear for years. 

OK, sure, I'm not against popping on a sports jersey but, overall, moments like that are outliers. I can be seen in a hoodie or a t-shirt but even those aren't as common as my usual standbys.

And spotting me in track pants or sweatpants? Rare, as in I'm running to pick up dinner at the nearby Italian restaurant.

So, with all of that in mind, we return to a tale from the HAN Network days. For reasons I don't recall, we were booked to host our programming from a country club.

Woodway Country Club, on the lines of Darien, Stamford, and New Canaan, opened in 1916 and we were to broadcast from their clubhouse. As I recall, we were to host our morning news program, "Coffee Break" from there, along with a special to interview people at the club. At that time, HAN was using our appearances as an advertising opportunity. Places could pay to have us there though I don't recall if that's what this was.

There's no question that visibility in situations like this, sidewalk sales, and other community events were good for us and for businesses.

Generally speaking, we didn't have much of a dress code at HAN, and on warmer days, I tended to lean towards shorts and a golf shirt to always look appropriate.

We'd eventually insist on a jacket and tie for those on the air (you know, "to look professional") but I never quite agreed with it. I don't think we needed that on this day but, even then, I'd never wear a full suit because the tie and jacket would quickly be gone once we were off the air.

This, as I recall, was a cooler day turning towards fall (I just checked and it was Sep 16, 2015) and, well, I'm sure I grabbed a golf shirt or I still had the jacket and tie with a dress shirt. Whatever it was, I don't have total recall.

But oh I remember the bottom half of my ensemble.

Jeans.

Always appropriate, I think these were Old Navy or Gap jeans in a darker blue. If I had the type of jeans that were older and "well-worn" they wouldn't come out on a day like this. 

And off I went, making the drive from Mahopac, through Westchester County, into New Canaan. I was thrilled to not have to go to the office in Shelton on this morning. Shelton was a drive that moved towards 90 minutes on a daily basis each way.

I turned off Hope St into the club driveway, well ahead of the rest of the team. I recall women were setting up for the event on the sidewalk near the parking lot.

Suddenly, I had a thought. Oh, no. This is a country club and there is probably a dress code.

My stomach turned. As I often felt I could do nothing right at HAN (or, worse, simply wore a "kick me" as a target), I wondered if I had just committed a fashion faux pas.

Me. The one who is often overdressed.

Me. The one who once worked a broadcast at New York Fashion Week.

Me. The one who helped interview a women's boutique store employee about clothes and fashion.

Me. 

In jeans.

At a country club.

I sat in my car and the sweat began to bubble.

Do I ask someone? 

Do I see if the Gap still has a location in New Canaan and buy a pair of khakis?

Do I just go home?

Indeed I was the first one there. 

Eventually, I walked into the clubhouse to find someone to inquire about where we should set up. While trying to play it cool, I felt like the eyes of the country club fashion world were on me with complete and utter dismay.

The horror of the shame I had brought upon the denizens of Woodway on this Wednesday morning.

I was like Rodney Dangerfield in "Caddyshack" except he had more money and he still wasn't wearing jeans.

Eventually, as I began to set up, and others from HAN arrived, I received the bad news. Yes, you bet there was a dress code and there was shock, I tell you, shock!

Everything was fine. Except me.

A bag over my head would have been desirable

I was mortified. Shorts, I was told, would have been OK, but not nasty denim!

I actually did offer to leave or go buy something, lest the fashion world deal with looking at me in such a state.

I was told, in the end, to keep my object of dissatisfaction hidden behind and underneath a table. They'd put a tablecloth on to hide my ugliness.

Shockingly, my colleagues gently chided me but there was no further retribution.

Even now I can tell you that it was most honest of mistakes. I actually considered not wearing shorts that morning because I thought that might be inappropriate but, in the end, I simply goofed.

I think I was completely red-faced for the entire time we were there, including when we ate lunch after the broadcast. It was humiliating and I felt awful. I also felt like I was due to be glued to the side of the HAN RV and beaten.

Beyond that, I did my job, running audio and doing any on-screen appearances.

I don't recall the broadcast bringing us much in the way of business, but that could also be my fuzzy memory. For sure, we laughed that it was my fault. I do recall that.

And so, in a lifetime of always trying to look appropriate and, dare I say, nice, here is the prime example of a colossal eff up.

The jeans are long gone, for the record.

I'm also quite sure my picture is on file in the offices of the lovely Woodway Country Club, to never allow that scoundrel back onto their pristine grounds.

You can bet I remembered all of that as I donned my proper shorts and golf shirt to play in the tournament yesterday.

A memory that still embarrasses me but lives in the "oh well" portion of my brain.