As the Trains Roar By

 

The desk is coming together!

Greetings from my balcony. I'm either Statler or Waldorf. 

Alas, I might be both tonight.

In other affairs, the co-conspirator is back.

John Nash wrote another intensely deep post earlier today.

He and I began two journeys a few years ago. 

1) This Project 365/Infinity/Whatever-it-is thing. We both wrote daily. He stepped back and reassessed. I kept going, in part, due to habit and fear of failing.

I know the world will keep turning when I don't post. It's me and a few others I fear letting down. I've said a few times that I was done and would skip a night. I was quickly told, sort of, to get to the computer and write. 

And here we are. Still.

2) Our podcast, "The Owner's Box Horse Racing Podcast." We were on fire. John produced, we recorded, I edited. Then schedules (mostly, shocking, mine) got crazy. Then we stopped.

What was that I was saying about letting people down?

I think -- if I may be so bold -- we're in the back of each other's minds. Oh, we know how this works with friends. It doesn't matter if you've known them for 50 years or 5 months. You mean well, think of one another and life gets in the way.

Similar souls. Fierce, firm, stubborn, etc.

He's a good man.

So when he writes today that he's at a crossroads, well, partner, I went down to the crossroads as well.

I asked someone for mercy. If you please.

I get every last word of what he's saying. I've been at a crossroads for some time. It's like I keep finding other crossroads. Just one big neighborhood.

I'll let you read his words but I feel all of them. He wants to write more and, yet, I write every night. I feel like what John writes is impactful.

I feel like what I write is impactful perhaps once a month if I'm lucky.

It's just all perspective.

I find myself considering lots of things. Where and when to do a father/son getaway (and we fail every time), for instance. 

I have my own personal and professional things sitting in my skull as I write from the balcony of my home.

I worry about loved ones.

I think about finding the right situation for me.

I think about somehow getting out of neutral.

I also think a bit about the hole in my ceiling and the chat with the police today.

One was thanks to rain and the other was thanks to a license plate reader that had me in the neighborhood of a car accident.

Which I was not involved in and my car clearly has no marks on it.

Still, I think about all of those things.

And about John Nash. One thing I've learned about him is that no matter how much I push him to write, he's going to make up his own mind.

I get it.

What a day.

Also, thanks Chris Erway, for the visit and the housewarming gift.

And Sean's here.

And mosquitoes are entertaining throwing me on some miniature grill.

It's time to go back inside.