Focusing on the Good

 

Us -- 2020 in Mahopac

Regardless of the many mixed emotions that go through the holiday season, I normally find a point where I consider the blessings in my life.

I have Sean. No matter how I look back at my life -- and there are regrets, mistakes, etc -- I can never have him taken away from me.

Our relationship has been discussed and demonstrated on this very page many times. 

No matter what, in the darkest of times, he and I remained fiercely close.

It's a frankly effortless thing. Oh, it took work when our family first split up, through the awkward father/son Wednesday night dinners and the initial weekends spent with me but we got the hang of it.

Thankfully, that era is long over.

Now I get to watch as he figures out who he is.

But the blessings don't end with Sean. It includes Rascal/Squaky, the cat who has been more than just a pet.

Oh, sure, he's a cat -- we remind him of that many times daily -- but he's a companion and friend.

In truth, he's sort of a support animal to us in that he came here after Mom died and he's living his best life with us.

At least we think so.

I also have friends. Great friends. Incredible friends. To name them all wouldn't be fair because I always forget someone. 

I could just go with "Susan" and let that one name represent everyone whom I'm blessed to call a friend and loved one. Loyalty and respect mean so much to me and so those whom I can count on are the ones who find themselves in the inner circle.

I've also learned to move forward without some in life as necessary. It hurts and it's not my style but it's become necessary for survival.

And so, I do it.

With Mom in rehab after heart surgery, 2013

I have family also and believe me, I need them more than they know. Such definitions have been shattered and shifted over the years. 

I'll go to my nephew's tomorrow and see my sister along with her kids and grandkids. I know Kristy, Hector, and their kids are a call away, and would love for me to be down in North Carolina with them.

My cousin Kris and his wife Lori -- my Renegades colleague! -- are literally always there for us.

But this is where I risk leaving people out. Kris's sister Kourtney helped us out with the very couch I'm writing to you from. Their sister Keli is someone we also try to connect with when we're in North Carolina (and we're unsuccessful every time, unfortunately). 

Kristy's sister Stephanie sent us one of the few Christmas cards we received this year. Her sister Laura will always be my first niece. They're all a call away and I know that.

The point is that it really should take a village (theoretical or otherwise) to survive in this world. Nobody should be alone. For, as Clarence the Angel inscribed to George Bailey at the end of It's a Wonderful Life, "No man is a failure who has friends."

I have employers who are also friends and I believe they'd each like more of my services. I'd like that also and I'm hopeful 2024 will be more fruitful but I'm grateful for the work I've received.

I miss both of my parents and I mourn them but I also recognize that I had them both in my life. No, I didn't have my dad long enough but I had him longer than a lot of others get to have a father.

So, while life is rarely easy, I can pause and recognize that I've been quite blessed.

John Nash -- the blogging co-conspirator -- wrote an exceptional post yesterday. One passage really grabbed me.

"I don’t love. I rarely play. I wake up and attack the day until I need a nap. Then I nap and I get through the remainder of the day until night falls and I lay down in my bed and close my eyes."

In many ways, that's me also. I try to love and play (some). But the rest? I wake up after not sleeping well (today included), perhaps grab a nap, and then go to bed.

They're full days, sure, but there's a certain level of wash, rinse, repeat. They're not all the same but, yet, there's a rhythm.

But I'm still here. I'm still grinding. I'm still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah).

Despite whatever is going on in your world, I hope you also pause to consider your blessings. They do exist. I hurt over some things -- some of them being my own doing -- but I know I need to be here for some.

And so, we prepare to turn the page on Christmas 2023.

May you find whatever brings you peace in this season.

Let's be good to each other. Let's understand each other.

Although it's been said many times.

Many ways.

Merry Christmas to you.