Saturday, November 08, 2014

Friends (the Modern Version)

I needed a picture, and a quote works. I guess.
It was a week of lost and recovered friends and relationships.

Yeah, not exactly Dickens, but it will do. You know - best of times, worst of times.

But seriously (Phil Collins, 1989) as I patrolled the social media world, I found myself thinking about it all.

I love my friends and I hate when any of them get hurt or there's a misunderstanding. What almost never happens is a definitive break. Friends lose touch a bit but they're never gone. At least, not in me eyes.

Thanks to the beast of social media, one can stay in touch.

Whether it's male or female, I love my friends.

Friends with the opposite sex can certainly be a tough line to walk. Oh I'm not saying it's impossible - in fact it's quite common (present company included). Yet it does take a certain level of understanding and, to be honest, it can be a fine line.

Indeed it can often lead to impacting personal relationships, boundaries, and perceived respect (or slights).

And misunderstandings.

I can clearly recall being at Kraft back in the day, and when I announced I was getting married, it was thought that I was marrying a coworker who I frequently had lunch with.

No, but looking back, I could understand why. In this era, had I still worked with that person, there might be social media pictures, selfies, and so on. And the talk would intensify, no doubt.

Rumours (British spelling for Fleetwood Mac, 1977) can be a beast.

And the circle goes 'round. The dance continues.

I also found myself thinking about when and if to "friend" people on social media. Basically: when is it proper? I sometimes see "suggested friends" or meet people and the question comes into my brain.

For instance, I met some great people recently. Now, I wouldn't flinch and, honestly, I would be fine with it if they requested me, but I don't want to impose. Everybody has their own social media personality (and they all have a face that they hide away forever...Mr. Joel...).

Thus I don't. When in doubt, of course.

Yes, this is an inexact science, and really is part of a bigger, more socially complex conundrum in the dynamic of friendship. I have friends who are very careful about their social media relationships. As of this writing, I have 668 connections on Facebook (as of this writing), and I haven't exactly examined who they are. But I'm glad they're there.

I'm sad that I've lost friends, but I suppose there are reasons. I'm one who would rather talk them over and work it out.

In fact, I have passed on very few friend requests, and have only dropped a couple. Now I know I've been a dropped a few times also.

There are deeper things going on there, and I won't get into the minutiae. I know that a conversation was relayed online (we have mutual friends, after all), but I can say that we will agree to disagree.

I mean, aren't friends supposed to do that?

OK, so three music references in here? Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Joel!

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